Understanding the Things That Causes Delay in Getting Married and How to Deal With Them!
Fear of marrying the wrong person.For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, and what I dreaded has happened to me. Job 3:25
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer...let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6
Doubt is a sickness. Worry is a disease. Anxiety is a grave. It buries people even while they are still alive. We all have times in our lives when we must choose between faith and fear.
A young woman being pressurized by her parents to marry a particular person can decide to choose whether to give in or say no and walk away. When you are afraid of marrying the person, you are likely to be a victim of one.
Probably God saw the place of fear in the heart of Joshua and he said, "Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide the land as an inheritance...only be strong and very courageous...that you may prosper wherever you go. Joshua 1:6-7
You must also learn to face what you fear or it will control you until you withdraw into your shell. What you fear most must be faced most. You cannot conquer what you cannot confront. You have to stand up to it and overcome your anxieties. Your faith level must rise to believe that God has a plan for your life.
Courage here does not eliminate his fear, but to strengthen him and cause his faith level to rise above what he feared.
Fear, as the saying goes is "False Evidence Appearing Real". You have to neglect all the false evidences around you. Your parents' broken marriage is not an evidence that you will have one.
You must start seeing yourself as someone who can handle life. If fear dominates you at the junction of marriage, how about when you finally get married. What is ahead of you is greater than what is behind you. The greatest of all is what is in you. You must change your mindset about marriage.
Bishop T.D Jakes, one of the America's best preachers said, "Our mind is the battlefield where victory is won or lost". If you believe you cannot fall victim of wrong marriage, then the victory is won, you cannot fall victim.
Bob Gass the author of the word for today for West Africa said, Anxiety cannot immobilize you and steal your joy and victory when you know you can handle whatever happens.
Bring God into the scene and he will help you where your hands are already weak. If you start a relationship and things does not work out well, separate visions and pursuit, disagreement, dishonesty and infidelity, why waiting? If you start it then end it. A broken courtship is much better than a broken marriage.
In conclusion, instead of retreating to a corner of silent and regret, arise and face what you fear and you will discover they are just false evidence appearing real.
Lack of planning and improper counsel.
Going into marriage involves planning, and where you have good plans and you are not properly counseled your plans will go awry. One of the reasons why planning is important is that, once you enter into it there is no going back. God said I hate divorce. If you are thinking that if it does not work out fine, you have an option to quit.
Thinking about divorce before entering into marriage is a sign that you are likely to experience it. Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy may divorce and separate, while Mr. and Mrs. Lopez did the same.
Yet, these are facts, but are not the true picture of your own marriage. Divorce is a grave, and each time you see it you will remember who is there. Don't let it enter into you. Before you venture into marriage now start planning now.
It is not wrong if you start planning how you will manage your own home now. Learn lessons from failed marriages and avoid the obstacles.
When you see the red light of a car in your front, it tells you just one thing, "slow down" or "watch out". Watch out for loopholes, crack walls, and mistakes so that you will not fall at the same junction.
Therefore, when you see failed marriages, wave it and look up to God for perfection in your imperfections. Many people who failed today did not really plan to fail. However, things went wrong along the way.
Nevertheless, you can start planning, praying and preparing for your future now. God is always willing to help us when we show him our imperfections.
Before I met my wife, I have written all I wanted from marriage. Funny enough she has written her own too. We just amalgamated the plans and visions and settled for the systematic process.
Today, the visions are happening. Nevertheless, it all started with a plan. Start now. Proper planning prevents poor performance. As the saying goes, "If you fail to plan you are planning to fail".
In addition, you have to learn how to shun wrong counsel. Do not let anybody gives you the mentality that marriage is a lifetime burden. It is a blessing from God. All my life I have always thanked God for giving me a wife. She has been to me a wife, mother and a companion.
I don't have to think alone, work alone, live alone or plan all alone. God gave me a wife whose contributions to my life have brought me this far. Start your planning now.
