You have devoted a lot of time to your relationship. Maybe you've
been living with your man for a significant amount of time, or maybe
you don't live together and he has been your boyfriend for so long.
You've been sharing with him a lot of beautiful moments and an important
part in your life. Even your relationship could seem to others a
perfect match, but only you know that there are some flaws in it.
You
want to get married but he doesn't. You dream about becoming his wife
because you want to feel safe, you don't like feeling insecure about
him, you want to get some more commitment from him, and... because you
want a beautiful wedding! You know you deserve it after all this time.
You
have asked him about this but you only get the same evasive answers
that you have heard all along: "Excuse me, but I'm not ready yet", "It
will be very expensive, what if we rather spend that money in... ",
"there's no need to be married, we love each other", "there's no need to
bind each other, we know our love will last forever" and so on.
You
feel desperate because you have tried everything you know but it seems
there is no way to change his mind. It seems that the longer the time
you've been together, the more resilient your man becomes about getting
engaged. So, what can you do? Are you going to wait until he decides to
take that next step?
Don't worry. There is a solution to your
problem. You can follow a simple set of principles and steps to lead him
into the path of getting married to you.
In fact, there is a completely
proven method you can follow. It targets the most basic instincts of a
man and it is so very effective that you could be married into some
months, in the worst of the cases. But before going to the first steps,
we'd better start with this simple fact:
The enemy you are
fighting against is the natural and widely spread men's resistance to
get engaged. It comes from a sense of freedom he doesn't want to lose.
A
man loves his independence and any situation which he supposes will
threaten his freedom, being the possibility of getting married or any
other circumstance, lights up some kind of danger light into his brain
that causes a self defensive reaction, in this case is resistance to get
married to a woman (ANY woman, it is not personally related to you).
This leads us to some important situations you should avoid when you want to persuade a man to get engaged to you:
- Don't
try to force him into making any decision about matrimony. It is a
proven fact that you will only get more resistance from him instead of
being more cooperative.
- Don't try to make him jealous. If you use one of those methods your
friends have advised to you to get him feeling like he would be losing
your love because other man could be pretending you. Very much men, in a
sudden boost could say "OK, go with him" in a very unsuspected and
surprising way.
- If you are sexually involved by now, this advice doesn't apply to
your situation, but if you don't, you have a very powerful weapon in
your hands. Despite the fact that you would seem out of fashion, don't
give him the sex he almost for sure is asking to you, until you get
married.
- Don't try to challenge him with the classic ultimatum: "we get
married or our relationship is over". You can get one out of two
results: maybe your man agrees on getting married, you obtain what you
asked for, but he will feel that his decision wasn't made by himself,
causing a feeling of being tricked into a situation he didn't wanted to
be into, a feeling that sometimes survives forever inside your husband's
mind causing troubles in your matrimony, or you could get your man
saying "bye bye" and then being dumped by him.
- Don't cry, threaten or pray, because a marriage must be founded on
dignity and mutual respect, which could be dramatically diminished by
this circumstance. This is one more way of starting your matrimony the
wrong way, besides your man will feel forced as in the former case.
- In almost every relationship, the woman depends psychologically on
her man to make decisions, to feel complete, to talk to him about her
problems, but he doesn't depend the same way on her. It is a someway
unfair situation but it is true in most cases. The good news is that
this situation could be equalized or even reversed.
- Any reaction of yours that causes arguing with him will lead to a
problematic start of your matrimony, or to a troubled relationship that
makes that wedding day each day very much far and more difficult to
achieve.
- Try to not to impose getting married as a condition to your support
or participation in a good relationship because it only will trigger the
instinct of competence that exists inside every man, leading him to the
same unsupportive reaction, starting an action-reaction vicious circle
among you and him.
Now that you know the main Dont's,
let me tell you that the secret to get him marrying you it this simple:
you just have to get your man considering a possible marriage in some
way he'd think that it was his idea, NOT YOURS. You must use the
knowledge you are obtaining by now in a very subtle way for him not to
realize that you are making an effort to trigger inside his mind the
idea that something is missing in your relationship.
Once he
suspects there is some trouble to solve, his natural tendency to protect
what he owns will lead him as a next step to think about reinforcing
your relationship in some way (because a man likes to protect what he
considers is of his property). From this point the idea of getting
married is not too far. It rises into his mind by itself, he starts to
think about the situation leaving behind the fear of losing his freedom
which turns into the urgency of reinforcing his property, and the same
old story starts again.
Trust me. Your man may be a geek, a
nowadays man, a modern and educated guy, but in some basic questions, he
still thinks as a caveman. He still wants to fight for his property.
You can use your feminine intuition to apply these principles as your
feeling dictates to you or you can use some
proven method with easy steps presented in a correct order that assures you will succeed in marrying to him.
Human relationships are complex by nature, and one of the most
complicated stages of relationships is making the decision of getting
married. And this is just because it is very difficult for men and women
to agree on this subject.
For most women it is difficult to
understand why settling down is by far more difficult to accept for a
man. In fact, for most men it is a very difficult to face situation that
requires a deep and self convincing process.
Then it is not
surprising that more and more women involved in too long-lasting
associations are wondering " How can I get Married " to him? or "
How I get Married? " without finding a solution to a seemingly going-to-nowhere relationship.
